OH, COME ON!

SINGAPORE -- Former prime minister Lee Kuan Yew has brushed aside Singapore's dismal ranking in a global press freedom survey and renewed a warning to foreign media against interfering in the city-state's affairs.

"Do you really believe that we are equal to North Korea?" the 81-year-old Lee said in a forum late Monday with the Foreign Correspondents Association of Singapore. "Oh, come on."

While Singapore's media is indeed much more free than North Korea, it lags dreadfully behind all of the developed world. More regrettably, it also lags far behind much of the developing world.

While Thailand, Indonesia and even Cambodia cannot match the city state in terms of economic or human development, whenever I travel I always find local papers that have wonderfully refreshing local coverage when compared to the Straits Times. It is unfortunate that Singapore, which kicks ass in terms of economic freedom, is unwilling to accept the press freedoms that its first-world counterparts and Asean brethren take for granted.

So, why does Singapore rank at the bottom? Because - like North Korea or Cuba - there is no independent news media.

The Reporters Without Borders 2004 Annual Report on Singapore (which covers 2003) notes:

The country's two press groups, Singapore Press Holdings (SPH) and Mediacorp, are led by supporters of the People's Action Party, which has been in power for nearly 40 years. They keep strict control of the editorial line of their TV and radio stations and newspapers. SPH, the dominant group, is headed by Tjong Yik Min, who was one of the directors of the security services in the 1980s. Chua Lee Hoon, the star columnist of the daily The Straits Times, admits to also acting as an "expert" for the political police. The Straits Times bills itself as "one of the world's most respected newspapers" and it does indeed have a reputation for its Asia coverage. But it practices systematic self-censorship in its domestic reporting. Its competitors are Today and Streats, which dare more often to publish independent commentaries on the domestic situation. Nonetheless, the only real freedom is to be found on a small number of Internet sites operated by government opponents or by some of the few independent journalists. But they risk very heavy fines for defamation while the internal security law allows the authorities to imprison people without judicial approval.

Yes, Singapore structurally does have a North Korean-style domestic press - right down to having intelligence officers in the newsroom. It produces much better products than the drivel that comes out of North Korea. But, still, the Straits Times is no more critical of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong than the KCNA is of Kim Jong-il.

That's not to say the media here isn't more entertaining than its North Korean counterpart. It is, and it should be. Singapore is a developed, literate, high-income country. The papers need to be entertaining to sell advertisements and move copy.

North Koreans have low incomes, low literacy rates and newsprint is often used as food. It doesn't really matter what is in the daily paper. People will generally pick one up so they can have something to boil for lunch during the next collective-farming-driven famine.

In a way, North Korean journalists may in some ways have more freedom than Singaporean counterparts. They are occasionally free to make shit up...

When he was born, rainbows are said to have appeared in the sky. When he was elected head of the ruling party, fruit trees reportedly burst into bloom and fishermen landed a rare white sea cucumber -- a marine animal -- an auspicious sign, apparently, that he is "the greatest of great men produced by heaven." Who is this mysterious, godlike figure? -- KCNA on Kim Jong-Il's Birth

I offer a small challenge to the readership - if anyone can find a critical article on either Lee Hsien Loong or Lee Kwan Yew that was published in the Straits Times anytime over the past five years, I will award you with something that I would otherwise throw away before I move to Shanghai (the wonderful list of potential prizes include such valuable items as three years worth of FHM, a couple of old computer keyboards, a well-used weed wacker, my collection of cigar boxes and MUCH, MUCH MORE!)