ARAFAT'S CONDITION

Is probably not due to AIDS. The Red Ensign Brigade's chief medic, the Monger, probes and concludes:

I think Arafat has had longstanding liver disease, possibly as a result of infection with a hepatitis virus (e.g. Hep C), although other causes of liver scarring and failure are possible.

I think his low platelets are due to either his liver scarring and splenomegaly, or possibly due to a Hep C infection.

I think he has had a number of significant gastrointestinal hemorrhages, leading to anemia and toxic brain injury (encephalopathy).

I think he is already brain dead, and he'll be body dead too by the time the week is out.

It should go without saying that this is all fourth-degree guesswork based on third-hand information peddled by second-rate spokespersons representing a first class terrorist murderer. Which is to say: I'm Guessing with a capital G. But I'd bet a dollar I'm right. And hey, I was right about Bush winning the pop-vote by 2 to 3 points, wasn't I?

While I enjoy Frum, on this one, the Monger is far more reliable. So much so, the next time I need medicial attention I think I'll visit a doctor instead of a right-wing columnist (though if it's a minor complaint and either Laura Ingraham or Michelle Malkin aren't busy...).