WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

Weather and time permitting, I cycle to work. I did this morning despite being in a bit of a rush. I just pedaled a bit faster than usual.

I locked up my bike outside the building and went to the gym to change and shower. Twenty minutes of cycling in the tropics leaves a person in need of both.

After drying myself off I started to dress. The first item I grabbed were my boxers... or so I thought.

In my earlier haste it seems I grabbed a pair of Lisa's underwear**. I had misfiled them in my own drawer while she was away last month.

They weren't particularly feminine - they looked pretty much like a standard pair of black boxers, except for the absence of a fly. I tried them on. They fit reasonably well and they were comfortable enough. I continued to dress.

One of the buttons I use to fasten my braces (suspenders) to my trousers was unfortunately missing. I spent a few minutes in a futile search for something else to use as a fastener. Eventually, I gave up.

I walked into the office about 10 minutes late.

CHRIS: Sorry I'm late, I had a wardrobe malfunction. One of the buttons came off my trousers so I couldn't fix my braces. You wouldn't happen to have a safety pin?

COLLEAGUE: Err, oddly enough there's one here on my desk.

CHRIS: (accepting the pin) Thanks, I'll be right back.

I return minutes later with my braces firmly affixed.

COLLEAGUE: This sort of thing happens to you a lot doesn't it?

CHRIS: You don't know the half of it.

Then I sat down and spent the next eight hours wearing women's underwear.


About six months earlier I had a similar experience.

CHRIS (on the cellphone): Hi, I'm in the building but I'm going to be a bit late.

COLLEAGUE: No worries, it's a slow day. What happened?

CHRIS: Oh, I got here with plenty of time, but I forgot my pants.

COLLEAGUE: Err.. so, you're here but you're not wearing any pants?

CHRIS: Yeah. Lisa's bringing them in a cab as we speak.

**Lisa clarified after I arrived home that I was not wearing her underwear, I was actually wearing the bottom half of a set of pajamas.