EMPTY SUIT

Paul Martin, as could be expected, has been declared a 'winner' after Monday's election. I called him an empty suit. Only a few columnists agreed. Linda Williamson, a Toronto Sun writer whom I've never before read, seems to be on my wavelength:

Martin would be a leader Canadians could be proud of on the world stage. Martin would be a leader fiscal conservatives and lefties could love. Martin would bring the vision and hope and integrity the country so strongly craved after so many years of shrugging arrogance.
Today, that Paul Martin is dead, if he ever existed.
The distinguished millionaire statesman has been exposed as a cheap, desperate politician -- the figurehead of one of the dirtiest campaigns in memory.

In a separate column, Williamson also personifies Ontario as an abused spouse:

You should hear how often he's said he's sorry about his disastrous gambling of our nest egg -- nearly $1 billion -- on a gun registry. We're still paying for it (he won't part with it) but he says he'll never lose that much on it again.
As we've grown older together, of course, I've had to deal with some of the ravages of time. My roads aren't what they used to be, and my transit systems are bursting at the seams. My cities have been feeling the strain for a long time -- which is why he came up with his "new deal." I can't wait!
He's even going to pay for a complete facelift for my Toronto waterfront! And he must be sincere, because he's been promising this for about 30 years -- and I'm sure he understands now just how much I really need it.
I know there are other options out there. My family and friends, especially my pal, Alberta, have tried to convince me I'd be better off with someone new. It's caused a lot of tension and alienation between us.
My friend Quebec is now a sworn enemy of Big L and barely speaks to us. But as Big L always says, no one will ever love me the way he does. Why would I want to take up with some guy I barely know? He could be a brute. He could have a hidden dark side. What a terrifying thought.

There are days that I feel I would be happier working for a tabloid. This is one of them.