BONDAGE

Earlier this week, I went to get my camera repaired. It took about an hour on the train, plus a short cab ride to get to a west-coast industrial area where the service centre was located.

They could do nothing for my camera to repair it at a reasonable price - though they offered a reasonably discounted trade-in for a newer model. While looking at the new models, I asked if I could use my existing remote control with them. The receptionist said yes and tried to untie a knot I made to keep it held onto my camera case.

After struggling with the knot for a few seconds she said: "Wow, (do) you tie up your girlfriend this tight?" I thought about this for a second and politely answered "no."

I didn't realize until after I left the building, about 10 minutes later, that this was one of the coolest pick-up lines I had ever heard.

So naturally I mentioned the receptionist story to Lisa when I got home. She said it was an obvious attempt to pick me up and - because I didn't immediately notice this - she was beginning to suspect that I'm some sort of freaky high-level autistic. "No one can be that oblivious to, and unconcerned about the world around them."

I puzzled over this for a moment and recalled a scene from Southern England a few years back:

A waitress was serving me coffee. She was holding a small jug of milk and asked "Do you take milk in your coffee?"

I thought for a moment and replied: "Well, sometimes. If it's a really good coffee it doesn't need milk - but a bit of milk can take the bitterness out of a bad cup, and the extra fat can improve the taste of otherwise bad robusto. Sometimes if I'm in a hurry I use milk to cool down my..."

Lisa interrupted: "Do you want milk in your coffee?"

I looked from her to the now-confused waitress and said: "Sure."

After leaving the café/pub I noted that the waitress should have spoken in more direct language.

Anyway, I recalled that item because it seems to support the autism theory.

Which is not a bad thing - at the very least it should discourage the opposing theory that I'm a sociopath.